I was outright, flatly turned down. The harsh tone was unforgettable. Needless to say, once the
project was completed, there was still no support. My emotions churned with bitterness that left a
lingering sting that would last too long. Let me preface this by saying this project was a God-
appointed endeavor, and besides, this individual had supported the projects of others in a similar
manner. So you can imagine the buzz that dallied afterward. Now the purpose of me sharing this
today is not about me or the project or to dig up a buried shadow from the past. I want to talk with
you about rejection. If you are breathing, if you are reading this column, you are apt to be rejected
and I guarantee you it will likely be from someone you least expect.
Rejection strikes at the very core of your being. It attacks your self-image and self-worth.
Rejection is like a successive emotional virus that spills over into other areas of your life. And
because of this you should immediately take action to overcome it and all negative feelings
associated with it. In my mind I see rejection as the first cousin to offense. It comes to steal your
focus and take you off-end (offend). And we know who the thief is.
I held too long that awful feeling inside of me. The day I decided to rid myself of it once and for all
was the day my life was taken off lay-a-way. You see, God could not show himself strong when my
heart was not fixed on him. My heart was fixed on being accepted by an earthly being instead.
There is truth in Jeremiah’s proclamation that cursed is the one who trusts in man, who draws
strength from mere flesh and whose heart turns away from the Lord (See Jer. 17:5). It is shameful
to even think about it but the truth will make you free. I want you to free yourself and no longer be
subjected to the curse of being emotionally-ruled. If you have the Father’s approval, you don’t
need the approval of anyone else.
Rejection does not have to ruin your life unless you allow it. My goodness, who was rejected and
despised more than any other human but Jesus? He endured. He overcame. He forgave. And so
can you. You do not need to compromise your standards to be accepted by anyone. In my
situation, I knew I had to forgive. And in doing this, I was led to visit this individual and confront
my feelings and then I forgave. If someone has rejected you and the hurt still lingers, I am not
suggesting you have to go to the person. Ask the Lord how he wants you to handle it and wait for
His response. But I do know that forgiveness is inevitable if you want to be free.
Forgiveness is energizing. It severs the emotions associated with rejection and offense. When you
hold on to these negative emotions, by refusing to forgive those who have rejected you, you give
them power in your life. I know that you have the strength and courage to forgive. I have heard
that unforgiveness is like drinking poison, hoping the person you are angry with will die. All it does
is hurt you in the long run. Instead of spending energy holding on to what others have done to you,
restore and reenergize yourself in forgiving. Say to yourself, “Girl, they just don’t know what
they’re missing. I’m awesome! I’ve been anointed and appointed by God!” Yes, like David, go
ahead and encourage yourself.
Finally, freedom from rejection is possible when you break free from codependency on others.
You can love and admire people, but never allow them to determine how you feel about yourself
and how you carry yourself. A great way to become more comfortable with you is to take time to
do things and go places only with you. I enjoy taking day trips with me to visit antique stores and
flea markets looking for that one-of-a kind bargain. There is nothing wrong with treating you to a
nice dinner or a movie. In fact, it can be a great way to learn how to stop depending on people for
happiness and approval. When you can get to the place where you enjoy spending time with you,
self-esteem increases, and the chains of rejection are broken.
Say this: “I am the apple of God’s eye. I’ve been bought with a price. I am a chosen generation, a
royal princess, and I don’t need anyone’s approval but His.”
This is how God sees you. Now who are you to contradict him?
If today’s column has been pivotal to your life design, I would love to hear about it. Email me at
Dr. Deana Murphy passionately supports the
success of women helping them to design
their best life. Creator and visionary of the
LivingDesigns™ brand, Deana is an absolute
expert on life design and your Go-to-Resource
for promoting empowering life makeovers,
whether you seek one-on-one consulting,
group trainings, virtual workshops or live
lifestyle makeover events.
Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com
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I was hurt, embarrassed and downright
mad. Never in my wildest dreams did I
expect a response like this from this
individual. A couple of years ago I asked a
leader who I trusted and admired to
support one of my projects. In fact, as I
think of it, I requested their support
before the project was completed.
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