The symptoms show up in irreconcilable relationships, unethical and dishonest business
practices, lying, broken focus, jealousy, envy, discontentment with your own situation, a critical
spirit, hatred, and loss of time, resources and finances.
Ultimately, competing with others can diminish your productivity as you waste your energy
worrying about whether you measure up to other people’s performance. As I turned unhealthy
competition with others into healthy competition with myself, I was challenged to improve. It
literally changed my life. I remember hearing God speak to me about my attitude towards
someone who favored another over me. He said to me that what this person did was none of my
business. Self-competition became a great tool for my personal development because I became
more productive and focused on excellence. Here are some healthy ways to compete with
yourself:
Now lets talk a bit about unhealthy comparison. When I would belittle someone else to feel
better about myself, I was suffering from pride and low self-esteem. The other side to low self-
esteem and self-image is looking at another’s success, accomplishments, skills and abilities and
begin to feel bad about oneself. I took on a systemic dismantling process. Recognizing the skills
and talents God has so graciously bestowed upon me and the progressive woman that I am in
Christ, I couldn’t believe that I had been trapped in this unhealthy maze.
Be so very careful not to become snared by unhealthy comparisons in areas such as your looks,
finances, profession, relationships and status. When you find someone who is more successful,
talented or gifted than you are in certain areas, look to them for mentorship and training so you
can begin to learn what they know without feeling bad about yourself. And conversely, when
you find someone who is not as successful, talented or gifted as you, become a mentor to them
and help them maximize their full potential instead of belittling them. This becomes a
constructive experience in humility. Once I saw this, I was set free! In curing unhealthy
comparison this is what I learned:
Be encouraged to redirect your energy toward yourself, your own goals with the tenacity to
meet those goals. Focus more on yourself and you will regain the energy lost to worrying about
other people’s performance and how it compares to your own. Confess this right now:
I’d love to hear from you. Share your journey with me by emailing dmurphy@eewmagazine.
com.
practices, lying, broken focus, jealousy, envy, discontentment with your own situation, a critical
spirit, hatred, and loss of time, resources and finances.
Ultimately, competing with others can diminish your productivity as you waste your energy
worrying about whether you measure up to other people’s performance. As I turned unhealthy
competition with others into healthy competition with myself, I was challenged to improve. It
literally changed my life. I remember hearing God speak to me about my attitude towards
someone who favored another over me. He said to me that what this person did was none of my
business. Self-competition became a great tool for my personal development because I became
more productive and focused on excellence. Here are some healthy ways to compete with
yourself:
- Set goals – weekly, monthly yearly
- Set deadlines for your goals. Deadlines force you to take immediate action.
- Keep record of your progress. Progress from one goal right into the next.
- Share your goals with a trusted friend. You need an accountability partner.
- Keep your goals before you all of the time. In your planner, on the refrigerator
and even in your car.
Now lets talk a bit about unhealthy comparison. When I would belittle someone else to feel
better about myself, I was suffering from pride and low self-esteem. The other side to low self-
esteem and self-image is looking at another’s success, accomplishments, skills and abilities and
begin to feel bad about oneself. I took on a systemic dismantling process. Recognizing the skills
and talents God has so graciously bestowed upon me and the progressive woman that I am in
Christ, I couldn’t believe that I had been trapped in this unhealthy maze.
Be so very careful not to become snared by unhealthy comparisons in areas such as your looks,
finances, profession, relationships and status. When you find someone who is more successful,
talented or gifted than you are in certain areas, look to them for mentorship and training so you
can begin to learn what they know without feeling bad about yourself. And conversely, when
you find someone who is not as successful, talented or gifted as you, become a mentor to them
and help them maximize their full potential instead of belittling them. This becomes a
constructive experience in humility. Once I saw this, I was set free! In curing unhealthy
comparison this is what I learned:
- Accept the unique plans God has for you. Love what He has planned for you to do.
- Know your times and seasons. Learn what you can from each season of your life.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1). Don’t seek to be in a position in which you aren’t ready. - Prepare for future opportunities. Study and start collecting information. This will
help you be the confident workman God designed you to be. There is always an appointed
time. (Galatians 6:9 AMP.) - Accept and love your uniqueness. You are fearfully and wonderfully designed by
God. (Psalm 139:14) Embrace your unique tangle and intangible features that no one else
has.
Be encouraged to redirect your energy toward yourself, your own goals with the tenacity to
meet those goals. Focus more on yourself and you will regain the energy lost to worrying about
other people’s performance and how it compares to your own. Confess this right now:
- “I am God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus and designed to do good works, which God
prepared in advance for me to do.” - “I have a healthy self-esteem and optimistic attitude that causes me to have favor.”
- “I love myself.”
- “I am an expert at what I do because I prepare and plan to work in excellence.”
- “I choose to live by design, not by default.”
I’d love to hear from you. Share your journey with me by emailing dmurphy@eewmagazine.
com.
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Constantly we compared ourselves to our peers, feeling good when we outperformed them and
feeling bad when they outperformed us. This turned out to be not such a good idea. The pressure
of competing with others kept us stuck in the mode of always needing to prove ourselves and
believing that we had to be better and best at everything.
I’m not sure about Agnes and Dyanne, but I carried this over into adulthood. Unhealthy
competition and comparison can be two of the most self-destructive forces. In corporate America,
competing and comparing kept me entangled in trying to do better and to be better based on a
feeling bad when they outperformed us. This turned out to be not such a good idea. The pressure
of competing with others kept us stuck in the mode of always needing to prove ourselves and
believing that we had to be better and best at everything.
I’m not sure about Agnes and Dyanne, but I carried this over into adulthood. Unhealthy
competition and comparison can be two of the most self-destructive forces. In corporate America,
competing and comparing kept me entangled in trying to do better and to be better based on a
Dr. Deana Murphy passionately supports the
success of women helping them to design
their best life. Creator and visionary of the
LivingDesigns™ brand, Deana is an absolute
expert on life design and your Go-to-Resource
for promoting empowering life makeovers,
whether you seek one-on-one consulting,
group trainings, virtual workshops or live
lifestyle makeover events.
Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com
Email Deana:
dmurphy@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
success of women helping them to design
their best life. Creator and visionary of the
LivingDesigns™ brand, Deana is an absolute
expert on life design and your Go-to-Resource
for promoting empowering life makeovers,
whether you seek one-on-one consulting,
group trainings, virtual workshops or live
lifestyle makeover events.
Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com
Email Deana:
dmurphy@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
EMAIL:
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| BI-WEEKLY COLUMNS |
April 25-May 8
| EEWMAGAZINE.COM |
Have you ever wanted to be like someone
else? When I was in elementary school, I
wanted so much to be like my best friend.
Agnes was pretty. I thought if I could be like
her, I would be pretty too. This fascinating
story suddenly shifted as I discovered she
also wanted to be like me! We would
exchange hair bows, belts, pencils, erasers,
book bags (today they are called knapsacks),
then we return them at the end of the school
day. Fast forwarding to high school, another
friend, Dyanne and I together began
competing in an unhealthy way.
else? When I was in elementary school, I
wanted so much to be like my best friend.
Agnes was pretty. I thought if I could be like
her, I would be pretty too. This fascinating
story suddenly shifted as I discovered she
also wanted to be like me! We would
exchange hair bows, belts, pencils, erasers,
book bags (today they are called knapsacks),
then we return them at the end of the school
day. Fast forwarding to high school, another
friend, Dyanne and I together began
competing in an unhealthy way.
 | |  | |  | |  |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
| ADVERTISEMENT |
need to be acknowledged and accepted. What it
did was turn a natural God-given desire for
achievement and accomplishment into a
dangerous desire to achieve at another’s expense.
I was living by default instead of by design. My
eyes opened. I had to stop and have a good heart
check-up.
Do you have any symptoms of these two
debilitating diseases? I will share with you the
symptoms to look for in yourself and others and
then provide you with the cure to diffuse their
destructive power.
People compete with each other for status,
influence, affection, position or respect.
did was turn a natural God-given desire for
achievement and accomplishment into a
dangerous desire to achieve at another’s expense.
I was living by default instead of by design. My
eyes opened. I had to stop and have a good heart
check-up.
Do you have any symptoms of these two
debilitating diseases? I will share with you the
symptoms to look for in yourself and others and
then provide you with the cure to diffuse their
destructive power.
People compete with each other for status,
influence, affection, position or respect.