reaction may be "Yes, but--" as you weigh all the barriers and boundaries that prevent you from
living by design. To help be more conscious of your choices and make wise ones, focus on the
following areas:
Your past history. You may blame your past for many challenges. You may feel the baggage
you carry from childhood has made you the way you are and limited your options in life.
Regardless of any negative circumstances you may be facing in your life such as: challenges with
your children, conflict with your spouse, money problems, or frustration on your job, you must
realize you can make better choices that lead to change.
You don't have to accept negative ideas, habits, and perceptions that were “passed down” to
you. God has equipped you with the wisdom and power to choose.
Your relationships. You may get out of balance in your relationships and be left feeling
drained, used, and abused. Especially as a nurturing woman, throwing yourself wholly into
relationships while neglecting your own needs, can have damaging consequences. This pattern
of behavior tends to bring up the feeling that your personal desires are sacrificed for the sake of
others. Resentment, bitterness, and anger can set in. But this kind of sacrifice usually stems
from a personal choice, and represents an innate desire to be the supportive, nurturing, and
responsible woman that you were created to be. This desire is a good choice that may be far
greater than the personal goal that is sacrificed. Rather than being resentful, choose to maintain
a balance in this area. You don't have to deprive yourself or others of proper nurturing.
Your uncontrollable events. Here’s obviously where I blew it with the boxes. I suppose I felt as
if the movers took away my option of having my desk lamp. However, even in the midst of this
uncontrollable event, I had the choice of how I would respond. God doesn’t suggest, but
commands us in Romans 12:2 to adopt his character by renewing or transforming the mind. This
is vital to experience the fullness of our commitment to Him. Jesus told His disciples, “Take My
yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will
find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls
(Matthew 11:28, The Amplified Bible). Jesus’ character expressed joy, peace, patience,
kindness, gentleness, self control, and above all, love. We must choose to be Christlike.
Your money constraints. Frequently cited as a barrier to pursuing life’s choices is money
constraints. Believers should understand Jesus’ redemptive work on the cross was so powerful
and has set humanity free from the curse of lack. I recall clearly Eric and me talking about
moving to this new home. Because we learned to live by design to get clarity about our values
and priorities, we simply decided to never limit God. The Israelites are an example of how
limiting God can have serious ramifications. Psalm 78:40-42 says: “How oft did they provoke
him in the wilderness, and grieve him in the desert! Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and
limited the Holy One of Israel. They remembered not his hand, nor the day when he delivered
them from the enemy.” Looking at the obstacles hinders you from seeing beyond your current
circumstances, and keeps you from receiving God’s best. He has said He will meet all of your
needs. Choose to trust Him to make provision for you, and give you wisdom to make sound
financial decisions.
Your self-Image. How you see yourself can hold you back from making favorable, beneficial
choices. Perhaps you can't envision yourself achieving greatness because you identify with the
wrong image. Or maybe you fear some form of rejection that attacks your self-image and self-
worth. Look in the mirror and see yourself as the daughter of the King. As a new creature in
Christ, you are no longer subject to the curse of being emotionally-ruled. This means rejection
does not have to ruin your life unless you allow it to. With Jesus by your side, you do not need
to compromise your standards to be accepted by anyone. Choose to see yourself as God sees
you and walk accordingly.
You are always choosing, even though it may not appear that way. You do have a real choice
about many aspects of your life. You need to be honest with yourself about the specific personal
values and priorities that drive the choices you make. This awareness can help you make
changes in your life that more nearly reflect your desires and priorities for living by design.
Share with me your story about the bold choices you’ve made to live by design. Please email me
at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com.
living by design. To help be more conscious of your choices and make wise ones, focus on the
following areas:
Your past history. You may blame your past for many challenges. You may feel the baggage
you carry from childhood has made you the way you are and limited your options in life.
Regardless of any negative circumstances you may be facing in your life such as: challenges with
your children, conflict with your spouse, money problems, or frustration on your job, you must
realize you can make better choices that lead to change.
You don't have to accept negative ideas, habits, and perceptions that were “passed down” to
you. God has equipped you with the wisdom and power to choose.
Your relationships. You may get out of balance in your relationships and be left feeling
drained, used, and abused. Especially as a nurturing woman, throwing yourself wholly into
relationships while neglecting your own needs, can have damaging consequences. This pattern
of behavior tends to bring up the feeling that your personal desires are sacrificed for the sake of
others. Resentment, bitterness, and anger can set in. But this kind of sacrifice usually stems
from a personal choice, and represents an innate desire to be the supportive, nurturing, and
responsible woman that you were created to be. This desire is a good choice that may be far
greater than the personal goal that is sacrificed. Rather than being resentful, choose to maintain
a balance in this area. You don't have to deprive yourself or others of proper nurturing.
Your uncontrollable events. Here’s obviously where I blew it with the boxes. I suppose I felt as
if the movers took away my option of having my desk lamp. However, even in the midst of this
uncontrollable event, I had the choice of how I would respond. God doesn’t suggest, but
commands us in Romans 12:2 to adopt his character by renewing or transforming the mind. This
is vital to experience the fullness of our commitment to Him. Jesus told His disciples, “Take My
yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will
find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls
(Matthew 11:28, The Amplified Bible). Jesus’ character expressed joy, peace, patience,
kindness, gentleness, self control, and above all, love. We must choose to be Christlike.
Your money constraints. Frequently cited as a barrier to pursuing life’s choices is money
constraints. Believers should understand Jesus’ redemptive work on the cross was so powerful
and has set humanity free from the curse of lack. I recall clearly Eric and me talking about
moving to this new home. Because we learned to live by design to get clarity about our values
and priorities, we simply decided to never limit God. The Israelites are an example of how
limiting God can have serious ramifications. Psalm 78:40-42 says: “How oft did they provoke
him in the wilderness, and grieve him in the desert! Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and
limited the Holy One of Israel. They remembered not his hand, nor the day when he delivered
them from the enemy.” Looking at the obstacles hinders you from seeing beyond your current
circumstances, and keeps you from receiving God’s best. He has said He will meet all of your
needs. Choose to trust Him to make provision for you, and give you wisdom to make sound
financial decisions.
Your self-Image. How you see yourself can hold you back from making favorable, beneficial
choices. Perhaps you can't envision yourself achieving greatness because you identify with the
wrong image. Or maybe you fear some form of rejection that attacks your self-image and self-
worth. Look in the mirror and see yourself as the daughter of the King. As a new creature in
Christ, you are no longer subject to the curse of being emotionally-ruled. This means rejection
does not have to ruin your life unless you allow it to. With Jesus by your side, you do not need
to compromise your standards to be accepted by anyone. Choose to see yourself as God sees
you and walk accordingly.
You are always choosing, even though it may not appear that way. You do have a real choice
about many aspects of your life. You need to be honest with yourself about the specific personal
values and priorities that drive the choices you make. This awareness can help you make
changes in your life that more nearly reflect your desires and priorities for living by design.
Share with me your story about the bold choices you’ve made to live by design. Please email me
at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com.
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While urgently searching through the office boxes for my desk lamp, I could feel a surge of
frustration seeping in when I could not locate it. Assuming the movers clearly understood my
directives, I grumbled, “Tell me why couldn’t they simply read the big bold letters on the boxes
and place them in the corresponding rooms?’ 'I’ve gone through the meticulous task of organizing
the move to avoid being inconvenienced like this.” The annoyance was real. The extreme
resentment against my situation made me angry and my hawkish attitude was not attractive to
Eric, my calm and collected husband. His attempts to pacify me weren’t working. Eric’s choice was
to remain composed because he knew things would turn out alright.
frustration seeping in when I could not locate it. Assuming the movers clearly understood my
directives, I grumbled, “Tell me why couldn’t they simply read the big bold letters on the boxes
and place them in the corresponding rooms?’ 'I’ve gone through the meticulous task of organizing
the move to avoid being inconvenienced like this.” The annoyance was real. The extreme
resentment against my situation made me angry and my hawkish attitude was not attractive to
Eric, my calm and collected husband. His attempts to pacify me weren’t working. Eric’s choice was
to remain composed because he knew things would turn out alright.
Dr. Deana Murphy passionately supports the
success of women helping them to design
their best life. Creator and visionary of the
LivingDesigns™ brand, Deana is an absolute
expert on life design and your Go-to-Resource
for promoting empowering life makeovers,
whether you seek one-on-one consulting,
group trainings, virtual workshops or live
lifestyle makeover events.
Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com
Email Deana:
dmurphy@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
success of women helping them to design
their best life. Creator and visionary of the
LivingDesigns™ brand, Deana is an absolute
expert on life design and your Go-to-Resource
for promoting empowering life makeovers,
whether you seek one-on-one consulting,
group trainings, virtual workshops or live
lifestyle makeover events.
Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com
Email Deana:
dmurphy@eewmagazine.com
Connect on Facebook
Facebook.com
EMAIL:
| Copyright © 2011-2014 EEW Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. |
| BI-WEEKLY COLUMNS |
May 23-June 6
| EEWMAGAZINE.COM |
I have been up to my neck sorting through
boxes the last few days since my husband
and I have moved. Packing is not my
favorite project and I loathed every moment
of doing it.
Nevertheless, I did manage to carefully label
the boxes so things could be easily located.
To ensure the process would flow smoothly,
we cued the movers about the labeling so
they would understand where to put each
box.
And then, this morning happened.
boxes the last few days since my husband
and I have moved. Packing is not my
favorite project and I loathed every moment
of doing it.
Nevertheless, I did manage to carefully label
the boxes so things could be easily located.
To ensure the process would flow smoothly,
we cued the movers about the labeling so
they would understand where to put each
box.
And then, this morning happened.
 | |  | |  | |  |
 | |  | |  | |  | |  | |  |
My choice of acting childishly because others
didn’t follow my instructions only affected me.
The movers were long gone and I was left to
handle being uncomfortable in my path of choice.
Furious behavior belittles the furious person.
We often feel that we have no real choice about
many aspects of our lives. In fact, as I look back, I
realize that I spent many years on auto-pilot,
living by assumptions, not realizing I was actually
making choices. I now know something I didn't
back then. The reality is we always have a choice.
When confronted with the idea that you’re making
choices in the design of your life, your first
didn’t follow my instructions only affected me.
The movers were long gone and I was left to
handle being uncomfortable in my path of choice.
Furious behavior belittles the furious person.
We often feel that we have no real choice about
many aspects of our lives. In fact, as I look back, I
realize that I spent many years on auto-pilot,
living by assumptions, not realizing I was actually
making choices. I now know something I didn't
back then. The reality is we always have a choice.
When confronted with the idea that you’re making
choices in the design of your life, your first
